


This Would Be Inevitable

by amethystfox



Series: I Could Live a Little More [19]
Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Aldertonghen, Angst, Collars, Dom/sub, Dominant Paulo, Established Relationship, Flash Forward, Gazzaweireld, Jazzaniga, M/M, POV: Paulo, Paulo Gazzaniga likes to pull hair, Post-Match, Submissive Jan, Submissive Toby, Sunshine Squad, This is definitely not me trying to make myself feel better about Jan's situation, Tottenham Hotspur F.C., Tottenham Hotspur FC - Freeform, not at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:40:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22861912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amethystfox/pseuds/amethystfox
Summary: January 2020Paulo has a lot of fallout to deal with after the draw at Vicarage Road.
Relationships: Paulo Gazzaniga/Jan Vertonghen, Paulo Gazzaniga/Jan Vertonghen/Toby Alderweireld, Paulo Gazzaniga/Toby Alderweireld, Toby Alderweireld/Jan Vertonghen
Series: I Could Live a Little More [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1621807
Comments: 10
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another story that takes place outside the timeline of the main narrative of I Could Live A Little More, but unlike the others, this one is a jump into the future.
> 
> As with most of my Spursfics, non-English dialogue is used, with the translations in the end notes.

18 January 2020  
Watford

Paulo was swearing, savagely biting off the curses in Spanish as he paced in front of the goal. The first half had been… well, stressful, if not disastrous. He had made a good save off of Deeney's header, but it hadn't required any particular heroics on his part. He was feeling the frustration of his inability to affect anything at the other end of the field, though. He could only ever watch as his friends and teammates strove to beat his opposite number and find the net, and sometimes it left him practically climbing the goalposts in near-agony at not being able to contribute.

At least, he thought, he was better at keeping his composure in one key way than he had been… was it eight months ago already? His eyes automatically flicked across the back line, skipping over Serge and Tanganga, lingering only briefly on Toby, before finding Jan.

It had been a significant challenge for him to adapt to when he and Jan had begun their relationship. He had never had to try to focus on a game before while someone he loved was on the pitch with him. It hadn't been easy for Jan either, he knew; that first match they had played after sleeping together, against City, had seen both of them get into scuffles. Jan had picked up a yellow card for his, and Paulo had only been kept from escalating his further by the timely intervention of Davinson Sánchez.

It was definitely preferable to having to sit on the bench and watch his love play without him, though. That first leg against Ajax…

But that was all months gone now, and Paulo prided himself on his control now more than ever. He was able to keep himself mostly composed, at least when it came to Jan. He still bellowed and swore and kicked the posts, but if he was able to keep his eyes and mind on the game instead of on what he wanted to do to Jan, he counted it as a victory.

Today, though, today was promising to remain a frustrating match. The squad were still working out how to play without Harry Kane up front, and though Paulo hated to admit it, the team desperately needed a true captain. Jan had the experience and ability to lead, and he certainly did his best when he was the one with the armband, but he was a substitute, and everyone knew it. They had been able to carry on, more or less, after Hugo was injured because they had still had Harry to step up. But now that both co-captains were sidelined, the squad was fumbling, and it made Paulo's heart ache. He would give anything for the rest of the team to value and respect Jan the way he did, but he knew some of the younger players were starting to dismiss him as being too old, being past it. There were still those at the club who knew his worth, but unfortunately the manager that had truly understood Jan's value had fallen by the wayside.

Paulo was determined to do his best today, though. There was a strong possibility it would be his last game for a while, as Hugo was nearly ready to return at last from his elbow injury. Paulo had had mixed feelings about getting his longest ever stretch as Spurs' first choice keeper. On the one hand he had been thrilled; he loved to play, was as ambitious as any of them. But the joy had always been tempered by the knowledge that it had only come about because his friend had been so horrifically hurt, and that it would, ultimately, be temporary. 

But for now, he still had this game, this match. He had today, here, now, at Vicarage Road, to show what _he_ was worth.

As play went on, he could feel something building in the air. It had started in the back line early, when Tanganga picked up his first yellow for Spurs. Jan and Toby were both showing signs of unease, though both were professional enough to keep it contained, unless something went badly wrong. 

Frustration was spreading through the ranks-- he could see it affecting the midfield now. Winks seemed particularly fiery today. It always took Paulo a little by surprise just how scrappy the young Englishman could be, given what a darling he was off the pitch. But Paulo certainly wouldn't want to be up there trying to go up against him today, no matter how adorable he knew Winks could be.

Play was flowing back toward him now. He saw the ball flying towards a couple of Watford players who were alarmingly unmarked. His blood was heating up as it came nearer and nearer-- the defense was falling back-- Sarr had enough space to make a shot-- he was choosing his moment carefully, but now Gio was pressing-- Sarr's foot connected-- 

Paulo was moving before he even thought about it, aware that the shot was wide and that he didn't have to make a save, but unable to keep himself still when his goal was under threat. Relief washed over him as he saw the ball cross the line safely clear of his net, but he still lashed out at the posts anyway. He hated when the opposing team missed, almost more than he did when it was on target and he had to save it. Misses left him flooded with adrenaline but without the satisfaction of being tested. 

He sent the goal kick on its way, heading for Sonny on the right flank. He could see the Korean accelerate, reach that sweet spot where he seemed to actually fly rather than just run. He was making a good surge down the right, but he wouldn't be able to dodge their defence forever, he would have to pass. Paulo squinted and saw Sonny take aim for Dele, down near goal…

The ball bounced up and over the crossbar. Dele must have put too much on it. _"Fuck!"_ Paulo growled. Was one goal too much to ask today?

He didn't have long to stew over it though, as their keeper sent a long ball back down the pitch. He could see Deeney moving, nimbly dodging Serge, heading towards Paulo, but Toby was there and the ball was flying wide of goal again, past Paulo's fingertips as he dove, but still clear.

Paulo wiped at his brow briefly. This kind of end-to-end football was always exhausting for all of them; small wonder he was starting to see signs of strain in the other lads.

The corner kick wasn't a concern, Jan and Winks were both there and it was cleared, but Paulo could see the exact moment the tension bubbled over, when Doucouré grabbed and held Winks's arm for just a bit too long, and even at this distance he saw Winks snap. He jerked his arm free, roughly flinging Doucouré to the ground. The Watford man was up again almost instantly, mad as one of the hornets they called themselves. There was a shove and then Winks was down. Jan's arms were up, the whistle was blowing, but Winks and Doucouré were both furious and eager to fight.

Paulo raced towards them, as did nearly every other person on the pitch. The whistle kept blowing, but the knot of players just kept growing as more and more of them, both in white and in yellow, involved themselves. Jan was between Winks and Doucouré, gesturing for the refs to come help break it up. Paulo felt a surge of pride; seeing his love doing his job as captain always gave him a warm glow.

He noticed Toby run up behind them then and blinked, taken aback by how aggressively the Belgian inserted himself in the fight. Then he actually saw Toby _push_ Jan. It may have been just to get Jan out of the way so that Toby could get at Doucouré, but there were arms flying-- he couldn't quite see what happened next, but Paulo's stomach twisted when he saw Jan's hands go to his face as he fell to the grass. He knew he couldn't be the one to go to him now. It would be too suspicious, and he needed to help break up the fight anyway, which was flowing away from Jan now. He saw, out of the corner of his eye, Jan roll back to his feet, his arm across his nose and mouth. 

Then, to Paulo's surprise, sweet little Gio Lo Celso skirted the fight and went straight to Jan. Paulo had to suppress the surge of gratitude in his chest, though, as he couldn't stop to watch. He arrived on the scene at the same moment as the ref and was able to get in a few words before he peeled off, seeing fresh trouble trying to brew up. Toby was in it now with a couple of the Hornets men-- someone was snatching at his shirt-- and on the far side of the knot, Serge was trying to square up to Capoue.

Paulo circled around behind Toby, quelling him easily with a single growl of warning as he passed by, and headed for Serge, scooping him easily off the other players.

It took a bit more sorting out, but finally tempers were starting to cool. In the end, Winks and Doucouré both saw yellow for starting it, but it could have been worse. To Paulo's immense relief, Jan seemed to be no worse for the wear as well. He jogged back to goal, filed the incident away for review later, and turned his attention back to the game.

For the next several minutes, he almost held out hope that they would be able to finish out the game without any further drama. The ball was near Paulo's goal again when it happened, so quickly Paulo didn't even process it right away, reacting as he would if it had been any other member of the team. The ball was about to go out behind, setting up Watford with a corner, when Tanganga just managed to keep it in with a terrific slide, trying to reach Gio. The slippery pitch got the better of the young Argentinian, though, and he skidded to ground just shy of the touch. Delafoue ran up on it, he was going to strike, Paulo was bouncing on his toes, ready to fly. Gio was up, he and Jan were both moving to intercept, they were both preparing to slide. Paulo saw them go down just as Delafoue's foot connected-- but the ball ricocheted off and away, and the whistle was blowing again. The whistle was blowing, the Watford players were screaming, and the ref was reaching into his pocket for his yellow card-- the ball had been deflected off of Jan's arm, and this close to goal it would have to be a penalty. Paulo stopped short from where he had been preparing to leap and his arms exploded up from his sides in frustration and anger, letting out a roar he didn't recognise as his own voice.

He noticed, almost absently, Jan sitting on the pitch, his shoulders heaving, staring disbelievingly at the referee. It was actually one of Paulo's favourite ways he had ever seen Jan-- his legs straight out in front of him, shoulders curved forward. It made him look like a little boy waiting to be scolded.

Paulo had to bite down on his lip to remind himself of where he was and what was happening. Jan's shirt had hiked up over his stomach, just the slightest bit, but that tiny glimpse of skin threatened Paulo's control. If he was going to have to face a penalty, he couldn't afford to be distracted, no matter how badly he wanted to kiss that soft sliver of skin that had been exposed.

There was no question that it had been a handball-- Jan's arm had flown up instinctively as he had gone into the slide, trying to shield his face, but the rules were clear, and now Watford had been handed their best chance for a goal yet.

Paulo watched as Deeney set up to come at him and breathed deeply, reviewing what he had studied of Deeney's penalties in the past year. He studied Deeney's face, his body language, compared it to all the footage he had watched. _He looks like he's going to try to put it to my left, that's where he usually favours his chances, but he's a tricky bastard._ Paulo stretched himself to his full height, tapping his knuckles gently against the bottom of the crossbar as Deeney set himself for the run-up. 

As Deeney began to move, everything faded from Paulo's conscious mind, as it often did when he was in these moments. Nothing existed except for himself, Deeney, the ball, the net. Time seemed to slow as he dropped into his ready stance and took note of Deeney's eyes, flickering to Paulo's lower right, even as he ran at it as if aiming the other way. Deeney's foot came down, and Paulo leapt to his right, a wild surge of satisfaction filling him as he felt the _thud_ of the ball against his gloves. _He had done it._

After that, there wasn't much more in it. A few more chances were pressed, but none of them came to anything. When the final whistle blew, Paulo came off the pitch with a mixture of frustration and exhilaration. They'd failed to score, letting Watford steal a point and surely doing nothing to quiet the whispering of those who claimed that Spurs were nothing without Harry Kane.

On the other hand, Paulo had personally had his best game in a while, keeping a clean sheet, even saving a penalty. It was hard for him to accept it as anything less than a victory from his perspective.

He went through the usual post-match routine, talking to the press, making his way through the changing room, where he had a number of hugs, high fives, and the like from most of the squad. He didn't miss that Jan wasn't anywhere in sight, though, not even in the showers. He also couldn't overlook the apprehension in Toby's eyes, or the slight defiance on Winks's sweaty face. He knew he would have to handle all of this carefully. When he came to Toby, he reached out for a hug, putting his mouth close enough to his ear to mutter, "My place. Later." He didn't bother waiting for a response before stripping off his kit and heading for the showers. He also very deliberately chose not to meet Winks’s eyes.

Paulo didn't try to find Jan on the coach back to Enfield, much as he ached to be with him and care for him. Another time, he would have stopped at nothing to reach him immediately after a game like this, but they had had too many close calls. He knew Jan would survive until they could deal with this in private.

He did, however, pull out his phone to send a couple of quick texts to Patricia.

_ <<To: Patricia [16:03]: Hola cariña _  
_ <<To: Patricia [16:03]: ¿Podrías ir a la casa de Sophie y quedarte con ella? _  
_ <<To: Patricia [16:04]: Necesito estar a solas con ellos esta noche _

_ >>From: Patricia [16:04]: Por supuesto, querido _ 😘  
_ >>From: Patricia [16:04]: Me cuidare de ella _  
_ >>From: Patricia [16:04]: Tú cuídalos _

Paulo smiled and tucked his phone back in his pocket. He was a lucky man.

  
  


***

He didn't hurry back to his house, despite the knowledge that Jan and Toby would be waiting for him, despite the eagerness he could feel building inside him to be with them. He needed the time to sort out his feelings about the events of the match, to make sure that he could give them what they needed without worrying about getting carried away.

He even stopped to pick up a bottle of his favourite wine, smiling to himself at the thought of drinking it with Jan and Toby. Or drinking it himself and refusing to share…

He was dreaming happily of the various things he might do to his Belgian boys when he pulled up to his house, which appeared to be deserted. He had to remind himself that they had some serious business to deal with before he could indulge himself, and he arranged his features into a stern expression before he opened the door.

The house was dark and cold, though he knew Patricia had been here not long before. Teo whined softly from his crate, eager to be let out. Paulo obliged and spent the required five minutes rubbing Teo’s belly, scratching his ears, and planting kisses all over his head. He knew he babied the silly dog outrageously, but he didn’t mind. In his opinion, all dogs deserved to be babied and spoiled and loved beyond measure.

Paulo glanced at the thermostat on his way to the kitchen. The heat was completely off-- that explained why it was so cold in here. He wondered briefly who had turned it off, but let it go for now. He reset the thermostat, enjoying the comforting sounds of the furnace coming to life. 

It didn’t take him long to fill up a couple of water bottles. He considered grabbing a snack, as his stomach was starting to make it plain that he had used up most of the energy from his last meal before the match, but decided against it. He would eat afterwards.

When he opened the door to his bedroom, he knew immediately something was wrong. Toby was in the middle of the room, kneeling, hands behind his back, exactly as Paulo had expected him to be. He hadn’t undressed, but he had put on his collar.

Jan was nowhere to be seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Since the only non-English dialogue in this chapter is a text conversation, I'll just translate the whole thing:
> 
> To: Patricia [16:03]: Hey baby  
> To: Patricia [16:03]: Could you go over to Sophie's and stay with her?  
> To: Patricia [16:04]: I need to be alone with them tonight
> 
> From: Patricia [16:04]: Of course, honey 😘  
> From: Patricia [16:04]: I'll take care of her  
> From: Patricia [16:04]: You take care of them


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As with most of my Spursfics, I've used some non-English dialogue here; translations are in the end notes.

Paulo stumbled at the threshold of his bedroom, dropping the water he had brought from the kitchen in his shock. “Where is he?” he demanded, completely uninterested in playing any games while Jan was out of his sight when he was absolutely supposed to be here.

Toby didn’t meet his eyes. “He wouldn’t come with me,” he mumbled. “Sir.”

Paulo inhaled sharply. “Get up,” he told Toby. “We’re not doing this until we get this straightened out. Tell me all of it.”

Toby lurched awkwardly to his feet, still not looking Paulo in the eye. “We sat together on the coach, but he wouldn’t talk to me at all. When we got back to Enfield I tried to get him to ride with me, I didn’t think he should be driving, but he didn’t listen. I assumed he was coming straight here or I would have tried harder to get him to talk to me.”

“He said nothing to you?”

“Just… well, we argued in the carpark a little. I told him you were expecting us and he…” Toby bit his lip, and Paulo was astonished to see tears shining in those enormous blue eyes of his. “He… told me to fuck off.”

Paulo’s heart felt like a lump of ice in his chest. He opened his arms at once and Toby stumbled into his embrace, clutching at his shoulders as he let out a shuddering breath, buried his face into Paulo’s chest, and cried.

“Shhh, shhh,  _ mi querido,” _ Paulo whispered, stroking his back gently.  _ “Alles is oke.” _

“It’s not,” Toby muttered, his voice muffled by Paulo’s shirt. “It’s not. I’ve never seen him like that. Mad, yes, of course, we’ve been through losses before, but not like  _ this. _ Not… not like he actually meant it, meant that he didn’t want me anywhere near him.”

“He didn’t mean that,” Paulo said firmly. “You know better. You don’t need me to tell you how much you mean to him.”

Toby shook his head. "You didn't hear him, Paulo. I've known him since I was fifteen. I know what he's like when he's mad, when he's frustrated, when he's hurting. He's never been one to take it out on someone else, not ever, not just for no reason. I must have done something." 

Paulo released Toby from his embrace and instead cupped his face gently in his hands, thumbing the tears away carefully. "Listen to me,  _ liefje." _ He kissed away the tear stains on Toby's beautiful face. "We will find him, and we will sort this out. You could not have done anything to have caused this. Believe me." He whispered this last, but with enough of his Dominant tone that Toby blinked, swallowed, and nodded.

"Yes, sir."

"Good." Paulo kissed Toby tenderly several times, then held him out at arm's length, assessing. It was clear that Toby needed care, but Paulo felt torn. He still felt the overwhelming need to get to Jan, but he couldn't ignore Toby's needs. He took him by the hand and led him out into the living room, guiding him to sit down on the couch. He gave a low whistle and Teo came trotting over eagerly. "Teo,  _ abraza," _ he said, pointing. The beagle obediently jumped up next to Toby and sprawled across his lap, licking his hand and resting his head on Toby's knee.

Paulo stroked Toby's hair. "Have you eaten anything?"

Toby shook his head. 

"Wait here."

Paulo fed Toby a protein bar and encouraged him to drink most of the contents of one of the water bottles he had filled earlier-- not ideal, perhaps, but it would do for now.

"Now, you close your eyes and take deep breaths while I decide what we will do. Pet Teo, and relax."

Toby nodded and let his head fall back against the couch cushions with a sigh. Paulo caressed his cheek once, then dug his phone out of his pocket, turning away from the couch.

_ <<To: Sophie [16:56]: Hey, have you seen Jan? I thought he was coming to my house _

_ >>From: Sophie [16:56]: not since the match ended, no. Patricia just got here and she said that Jan was going to be with you tonight _  
_ >>From: Sophie [16:57]: which would be fine, of course, but he does normally check in with me if he's not coming home after a match _  
_ >>From: Sophie [16:57]: But he's not there? _

_ <<To: Sophie [16:57]: No, he's not. Apparently he and Toby had a little fight, and now we don't know where he is. I'm getting concerned _

_ >>From: Sophie [16:58]: he and Toby had a *fight*?  _  
_ >>From: Sophie [16:58]: now I'm getting worried. They never fight, not for real _  
_ >>From: Sophie [16:58]: Paulo, what is going on? _

_ <<To: Sophie [16:59]: I don't know, but I am going to find out _  
_ <<To: Sophie [16:59]: is there anywhere that he would go if he wanted to be alone? _

Sophie took a minute to consider her reply.

_ >>From: Sophie [17:01]: I'm not sure. He sometimes likes to go to that sculpture trail in Stratford, the one right by the Olympic stadium _  
_ >>From: Sophie [17:01]: it's awfully cold for him to be out there though _

_ <<To: Sophie [17:02]: I will find him, I promise you. _

  
  


***

  
  


In the end Paulo decided that Toby should stay at his house while he went to find Jan. For one thing, he wasn't convinced that Toby was stable enough right now for this. If they found Jan and he was still angry, the last thing Paulo wanted was for him to start shouting at Toby in a public place.

No, it would be better for Toby to remain here. And on the off chance that Jan calmed down and turned up there, it would be better if someone were waiting there for him.

Toby wasn't exactly happy about being left behind, but Paulo held firm. "If he comes here, you need to let me know immediately, yeah?"

Toby nodded reluctantly and squeezed Paulo's hand. His eyes were so large, Paulo noticed again, for about the hundredth time. They could never hide anything, and right now they were full of worry and pain. Paulo lifted his hand to his lips and kissed it gently.

"I'll be back soon."  _ I hope. _

Paulo knew the park Sophie had mentioned. When he had first moved to London, he had made a point to visit the facilities that had been built for the Olympics several years before. Though the sculpture trail hadn't been part of that original construction from the Olympics, it had still opened a couple of years before Paulo had come to Tottenham, and it had caught his eye. He had never walked the full trail, but knew it was supposed to be impressive. It was right by the river, though. Sophie was right-- it was not a good place for someone upset to be alone in midwinter.

  
  
  


***

It took longer than he had hoped, but he finally found Jan, staring up at what looked like an enormous milepost sign, the kind that showed how much further it was to the next destination. Paulo came up on him from behind, hoping not to give him too much of an opportunity to avoid him, but it didn't make any difference, as it turned out.

"I suppose I should have known," his defender said when Paulo was only a few feet behind him. "Was it Sophie that gave me away?"

"Don't blame her," Paulo said. "She's worried about you. So am I."

Jan sighed. "I guess that's not a surprise. I should know better than to expect to be left alone right now."

Paulo stopped short, less than an arm's length away. "Is that really what you want? What you think you need right now? I can leave, if so. I can text your worried wife and tell her that you want to be left alone, if that's what you want." His voice came out sharper than he'd intended.

Jan ran his hands through his hair. "I don't fucking know right now." His voice sounded so tired it made Paulo ache. He longed to be able to just pull Jan into his arms, but this wasn't the place for it.

"Come back with me," Paulo said, more gently this time. "Whatever is wrong, we can talk about it."

Jan didn't answer right away. He just looked back up at the sculpture, which read: 

_ Here  _  
_ 24,859 > _

"It's strange, isn't it?" At first Paulo wasn't sure that he had heard Jan correctly, his voice was so quiet. "24,859 miles. That's got to be… at least forty thousand kilometres, wouldn't you say?"

Paulo shrugged, forgetting that Jan was still facing away from him and couldn't see the gesture. He had never gotten the hang of converting between metric and imperial.

"That's the distance from here, if you were to go around the whole Earth, back to… here. It's just strange, I guess, to think about going on such a long journey, only to end up... back where you started."

Paulo stepped up next to Jan, who was still studying the sign.

_ "Schatje, _ what is this about?"

Jan looked down at the ground, shaking his head.

"I don't know," he mumbled. "Nothing. Everything."

The sun was setting now, and the wind had picked up again. Paulo shivered, cold in spite of the thick parka he was wearing and the snood covering his face and neck.

"Jan," he said firmly. "I want to talk about this, to listen to whatever is troubling you. But not here. I don't know about you, but I'm fucking freezing."

Jan looked up at him for the first time, looking startled. "Sorry," he said. "I didn't even think about it."

Paulo resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Of course not. You are never cold, ah? How could I forget? But you may be Super Jan, I am only a human and I am cold."

To his delight, Jan actually gave a soft laugh at that. He lowered his eyes almost shyly. "We can go," he murmured. "I took a cab here, though."

Paulo nodded. "I have my car," he offered. "We can talk there, either while parked or on our way to… wherever you want to be, I suppose."

Jan took a deep breath and nodded. "Let's start out parked, and then we'll see."

Once safely out of the wind, Paulo started up the car and quickly got the heater and seat warmers going, though Jan immediately turned his seat warmer off again.

"Now…" Paulo said, trying to decide if he dared take Jan's hand. "Tell me what is wrong. It has to be more than the game today, yes?"

Jan sighed. "Today was not good, but you're right, it is more than that. Today, I just… I don't know. I made a stupid error, putting my arm up like that. I tried to break up the fight and almost got my nose broken again for my trouble. I just... I can't seem to do anything right anymore."

"We all have these times," Paulo said as gently as he could.

Jan shook his head. "It is not just a bad day," he said, sounding tired again. "It has been most of this season, if I am honest. It has been since…"

He didn't finish, but he didn't need to. _Since Madrid_ was the rest of that sentence, Paulo knew only too well.

He couldn't hold himself back any longer, he had to touch Jan. He reached over and took his hand, lacing their fingers together.

"That was a tough time for all of us," Paulo said softly.

And it had been. After the shock of their run to the Champions League final last year, the defeat in the end had been stunning, demoralising, for all of them. Paulo had not even played in it and he had still felt how hard it had hit. The aftermath, if anything, had been almost worse. Poch had tried to guide them through it, but the truth was that he hadn't been the same since then, either. Of course, Poch wasn't at Tottenham any longer, which was a thought that made Paulo's stomach twist uncomfortably.

He badly wanted to steer the conversation away from this, sensing that it was dangerous ground. He cleared his throat. 

"We continue on, though, yes? We all do. We are still here, we are still playing, we still have our victories, our good days to go with the bad." He tried to smile. "Like at Wolves, yes? Super Jan saved the day. You remember?"

Jan made a frustrated sound in his throat. "Do  _ you _ remember the Wolves game, Paulo? Do you remember that beast Traoré running me ragged all game? He made me look like a foolish old man."

"Jan,  _ no." _

_ "Yes, _ he did. It made me realise… I'm thirty-two years old, Paulo. Almost thirty-three. I'm the oldest player on the squad that's not a goalkeeper. Even if I manage to keep going for a couple more years, the end is in sight for me. How long can I keep going like this?" He shook his head. "My best years are almost certainly behind me, and we haven't won  _ anything _ since I came to Spurs. I had really hoped Madrid would change that for us... for me."

Paulo didn't know what to say to that. He certainly couldn't argue with the stark reality that there was a definite time limit on the career span of a professional footballer.

"And… well… you know my contract is almost up."

Paulo felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. They had been avoiding talking about this all year. Paulo had been scared to ask, scared of what the answer might be. Scared of what it might mean.

Paulo swallowed, that fear forming a lump in his throat. "And…?"

"I just don't know. It's not looking great right now. I've been out of form all season, and Mourinho hasn't always exactly been my biggest fan."

Paulo was out of words. He pulled Jan's hand toward him and pressed his forehead into it. He couldn't speak, and he couldn't keep the tears from sliding down his face.

"Hey," Jan said gently. "I don't mean to make you sad. I just need to tell you what's on my mind, is all."

Paulo swallowed hard. "It's just… I just found you. I can't bear to think of losing you."

Jan leaned over and kissed the top of Paulo's head. "Who said anything about losing me? You think if I am not at Spurs anymore, I will not love you anymore?"

Paulo blinked and looked up at Jan, his vision blurred with tears. "I just… I don't know. This almost felt like you were going to tell me this is over."

Jan tightened his grip on Paulo's fingers. "Never," he whispered. "I don't know what's going to happen, but I do know I'd be a fool to let you go over something like this. Nothing is certain yet."

_ "Ik hou van jou," _ Paulo said, reaching up to touch Jan's face.  _ "Ik hou zoveel van je." _

_ "Y te amo mucho," _ Jan murmured, bringing his lips to Paulo's.

They stayed like that for several minutes, kissing in Paulo's car, before Paulo remembered his other concerns. He had already texted Sophie to let her know he had found Jan, but Toby…

He broke the kiss reluctantly, pulling back just enough to look straight into Jan's eyes.

"Tell me why you yelled at Toby."

He couldn't have failed to miss the signs of Jan tensing up again, not at this distance. He could almost feel Jan starting to put up a wall again. When he spoke, Paulo was taken aback by the note of bitterness in his voice.

"I didn't mean to. I just… I just couldn't handle it right then, to have perfect Toby telling me that you were waiting for us. Not for me, for  _ us." _

Paulo blinked. "You are jealous of Toby? Why? You never have been before."

Jan shrugged, dropping his eyes from Paulo's. He tried to drop his hand, too, but Paulo held on. "I don't know. I used to feel that even if there were other people you were involved with, that I was…" he sighed. "Special to you."

"You  _ are," _ Paulo protested, nonplussed. "How could you think you are not?"

Jan turned his face away from Paulo's. "It used to be that after a hard game, you and I would be together, just us. Then Toby started to join us. Which I didn't mind, not at first. I like having him with us. But…"

He rubbed his hand across his eyes. "Then all the fuss over our contracts running out started. Him, me, and Chris, it changed things between us. Chris used to be one of my best friends, but ever since he did that interview and came right out and said he wanted to leave, it hasn't been the same."

Paulo nodded. He didn't need to be reminded of how painful that had been for Jan; it had been painful enough to witness.

"And Toby… for a while it brought us closer, not knowing what was going to happen. We've been separated before, and I thought we could handle it even if it happened again. But then… then Poch was sacked, and Mourinho was in, and then suddenly Toby… he had his new contract, and I… I..."

Jan was crying now. Paulo wanted so badly to pull him close again, to dry his eyes and promise that everything would be all right, but he couldn't. Not until Jan had gotten this out. It hurt, so badly that Paulo wanted to scream, but it was like pulling out a splinter: leaving it in would be worse. Instead he brought his free hand up and began to run it back and forth over his own hair, just for something to  _ do. _

"And all I could think of was how you wouldn't need me, you would still have Toby, he's younger and probably has longer left in his career, and… I know it's stupid, but… I just felt like you'd be happier with him taking my p-place."

Having made it to the end of that horrible sentence, Jan let his head drop forward, pulling his hand free of Paulo's to cover his face, letting out the broken sob Paulo had a feeling he'd been holding in for entirely too long.

Now Paulo moved, gathering Jan into his arms, twining his fingers through that beautiful auburn hair, pressing his face into his shoulder, exactly as he had that night in Manchester, so many months ago.

"Jan," he whispered, his voice hoarse with his own tears. "My Jan. I am so sorry that I did not see this fear in you before. I am so sorry I let you go on feeling this." He stroked Jan's back. “No one can ever take your place, never. Not at Spurs, and not with me.  _ Never.” _

He took a deep breath. “It’s true that I am very fond of Toby, and that I am happy he will be staying at Spurs. But he is not you, and he does not want to take your place. If I had not fallen in love with you, I would not have looked at Toby. He enjoys what we do, yes, but it is not a need for him as it is for you, for me. What you and I have  _ is _ special, you must not doubt that. And if you do not stay on at Spurs, I am sure he and I will comfort each other, but we will never try to pretend that you are not at the centre of our relationship, whether you are physically with us or not.”

Paulo kissed Jan gently, silencing the protest he could sense was coming. “And if you leave London, well, then I suppose I will simply have to start spending more of my wages on plane tickets, back and forth to wherever you might be. Try to avoid anything more than a couple hours away by air, yes? It will get expensive after a while.”

Jan actually laughed at that, hiccuping softly. “You… would come visit me? Wherever I might be?”

“Nothing could keep me away, my love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Mi querido - my darling  
> Alles is oke - everything is okay  
> Liefje - sweetheart  
> Abraza - literally hug, but also means cuddle/snuggle  
> Schatje - baby  
> Ik hou van jou - I love you  
> Ik hou zoveel van je - I love you so much  
> Y te amo mucho - And I love you so much


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an extremely long, and extremely smutty chapter. Like... This might be the smuttiest thing I've ever written, which is saying something given that I've written two entries in the Captain Hugo series and have more planned.
> 
> Lots of non-English; translations are at the end.

After that, the drive back to Paulo's house passed in comfortable silence, with Jan holding Paulo's free hand in both of his. They were both aware that their actual dilemma remained unsolved. Much as he might wish, Paulo couldn't stop the flow of time, or command Jan's body to perform the way it had ten years ago. Even less could he convince Mourinho and Levy to offer Jan the contract Paulo felt he deserved. But for now, they were still here, together, and what Paulo could do for Jan, here, tonight, he would.

They pulled up at Paulo's house and sat in the driveway for a moment in silence. Jan still wouldn't let go of Paulo's hand, but he was also keeping his eyes down.

"Are you ready?" Paulo asked gently.

He saw Jan's throat work a few times before he managed to speak. "I know what I need to do, but…" He sighed. "I just don't really know how. I don’t  _ want _ to feel this way, I don’t  _ want _ to resent Toby. I want to be able to go in there and just apologise to him, I do.”

“But?”

“I’m scared,” Jan admitted. “What if he’s angry with me?”

Paulo had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. “You didn’t see him before I left to come find you, you sweet little fool. You have nothing to worry about, I promise you.”

Jan swallowed. “He wasn’t mad at me?”

Paulo reached across and seized a fistful of Jan's hair, giving his head an affectionate shake. It was one of the only times he had ever done that in a non-sexual context. "He was worried about you, worried that  _ you  _ were angry with him. I ought to knock your heads together,  _ Belgas obstinados." _

With that Paulo pulled away from Jan and opened the door. He had suddenly had enough of this. He had endless patience for Jan when he was hurting and in need, but very little for this kind of hesitation, especially when he knew how little Jan actually had to fear.

“Come on,” he said, rounding the front of the car and pulling open Jan’s door. “Time to be brave.” 

He could see the fear in Jan’s eyes, and he willed himself to be what Jan needed. “Do you trust me?”

_ “Sí,” _ Jan whispered.

“Then come. I will not let anything bad happen to you here. I promise.”

Paulo had sent Toby a text to let him know when they were on their way back, so he knew that they would be expected. What he hadn’t expected was the stark difference to the way he found his house when he opened the door this time, as compared to earlier.

The dark and cold of earlier were gone, replaced by a house full of warmth and softly glowing light, and the delicious smells of dinner. Paulo’s nose informed him that there was lamb involved, and rosemary, possibly potatoes as well, and his stomach responded by growling fiercely.

“Toby?” Paulo called, hanging his keys on their hook, fumbling with his heavy parka. Behind him, Jan delicately toed off his trainers, nudging them into place by the door. Teo came clicking down the hall with a happy bark, tail wagging furiously.

Paulo and Jan both bent to greet Teo. It never failed to make Paulo fall in love with Jan all over again, seeing the way he had taken to Teo. Jan had always been afraid of animals, big and small, but he had overcome that remarkably quickly when it came to Teo. Now he giggled when the beagle licked his face, and ruffled his fur almost as lovingly as did Paulo himself.

When they stood up, Toby was standing at the end of the entryway, a shy smile on his sweet face. His hands were behind his back and his eyes cast down on the floor, but there was a rosy flush on his cheeks.

“Welcome home,” he murmured, not looking up. Paulo could feel the nervousness radiating from Jan, behind him. Paulo finished hanging up his cold gear and took Jan’s hand.

“Come here, Toby,” he rumbled. Toby obediently came towards them, lifting his eyes hesitantly to Paulo’s face, still not looking at Jan. Paulo drew Jan further forward, watching his reaction.

Both Belgians stopped, just out of reach of one another, their eyes still not meeting. Paulo had to bite back the urge to wave his arms and shout at them, knowing it would be counterproductive.

“Jan, Toby was worried about you. Do you want to say anything to him?”

Jan blushed, looking for all the world like a little boy being coaxed into making up with a schoolmate. “Tobes, I… I’m sorry for shouting at you, and for making you worry. I was upset, but it wasn’t your fault. Not really.”

Toby looked up. “If I did something that upset you, anything at all, I’m sorry. I was so scared that you… I don’t know, that you hated me or something.”

Jan shook his head. “Never. There’s a lot going on, and… well, we need to talk, but I couldn’t ever hate you.”

Toby gave a sigh of relief. “Then everything else will be okay, yeah? As long as we’re good.” He shuffled his feet, looking suddenly embarrassed.  _ “Ik hou van jou,  _ Jantje,” he whispered.

Jan went still, but Paulo could tell that it was in surprise.  _ “Ik hou ook van jou.” _

Paulo wasn’t sure, but he had the distinct feeling that they hadn’t said this to each other before. Or maybe they had, but not since the recent changes to their relationship. Either way, it was clearly significant.

Paulo couldn’t take it anymore. His hands were clenched in fists and pressed against his cheeks, watching the adorable awkwardness. He badly needed something else to happen.

_ “Kiss him,” _ he hissed between his teeth, not caring which of them heard him, as long as someone did. And in the end he wasn’t sure which one it was, but it didn’t matter, because suddenly they were kissing. Jan’s arms went around Toby’s waist, and Toby was sighing and cupping Jan’s face in his hands.

Paulo squirmed with delight on the spot, watching them. No matter what else they still had to deal with, there was still plenty of joy to be had, after all.

***

  
  
  


Toby had indeed made dinner, surprisingly. Paulo didn’t think he had ever seen him cook before, but the lamb was delicious, especially paired with the wine that Paulo had picked up earlier. They were all starving after the game and the emotional upset that had followed, and there was no question of doing anything else until they had eaten.

When they had finished, Paulo was pleased to see that Jan and Toby automatically began to do the washing up together. They had both picked it up as a habit, to clear the dishes without being prompted, as they had each gotten used to being submissive to Paulo. It was a simple, effective way to ease themselves into the submissive mindset.

Paulo watched them, a contented smile playing across his face, noting with satisfaction how comfortable they seemed with each other again. He would need to keep an eye on them, and make sure that they actually had the conversation that still needed to happen. But he felt better, watching the soft smiles being exchanged as they washed and dried the dishes together.

When they were finished, Toby and Jan came quietly into the bedroom, where Paulo was waiting for them. He was seated in the armchair in the corner, the one under the reading lamp. It was the only light on in the bedroom, apart from several candles that had been lit atop the bureau and bedside tables.

Paulo didn’t look up from his book when they came in, or when they knelt in front of him. He continued calmly reading until he came to the end of the chapter, placed a ribbon between the pages, and set the novel aside. Only then did he look up to take in the two men kneeling in front of him.

_ They are so beautiful, _ he thought, studying them. Both were barefoot, but otherwise still dressed, perhaps knowing that Paulo would want to take his time tonight. He was pleased to see that both of them were now wearing their collars, however.

He waited for another minute, just admiring his boys, how perfect they were. Finally he spoke.

_ “Mis queridos preciosos,” _ he said in a quiet voice. “Tell me what you want tonight.”

They exchanged a glance, but kept their eyes down. “I’m happy just to be here, with you both,” Toby murmured. “Anything else… is bonus.”

“And you, my Jan?”

Jan was silent for a moment, thinking. “I want to be good,” he whispered.

Paulo didn’t let his smile reach his face. “Do you think you’ve been good today?”

Jan’s face fell. “No,” he admitted.

“Why do you think this?”

“I… I couldn’t stop the fight, I had a handball--”

“And you did these things intentionally? You wanted to do this?”

“No, but…”

“It is not for you to punish yourself for mistakes. If you need to be punished, I will do it. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

Paulo turned to Toby next. “And you? Do you think you have been good today?”

Toby blinked. “Not perfect, maybe, but… I don’t think I did anything too wrong today, did I?”

Paulo raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t you?”

Toby’s brow wrinkled. “I… well, I shouldn’t have gotten involved in the fight. But you saw Winks, he was about to get himself sent off, I had to do something.”

“That is not for sure. But even if you meant to help, you were too aggressive. You didn’t need to be so rough.”

Toby opened his mouth to object, but thought better of it. He just nodded. “I’m sorry, sir.”

“It is not me you need to apologise to. Did you even realise that you knocked Jan down?”

“I-- what? Uh, no sir.”

“I thought you might not. I had to watch the footage of it to be sure myself.” He paused to let that sink in. “Of course I don't think you meant to, you were focused on separating Winks and Doucouré. But you pushed Jan into Doucouré.”

Toby’s face fell this time. “I… I’m sorry, Jan. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt.”

“I wasn’t hurt,” Jan whispered. “Not really.”

“But it was enough to frighten me,” Paulo said sternly. “If you want to continue with me, I expect you to be more careful with what is mine. Understand?”

“Yes, sir,” Toby mumbled, his ears red.

“Good.” Paulo got to his feet and circled the pair of them slowly, evaluating them. He paused, standing directly behind them, and stepped back a pace. “Stand and face each other.”

They obeyed, still not meeting each other’s eyes.

“Toby. Undress Jan… slowly. Don’t touch his collar.”

Jan lowered his eyes, blushing. Toby stepped forward eagerly, then paused, forcing himself to move slowly. He wound the bottom edge of Jan’s tee shirt around his fingers and tugged it gradually up over his stomach and chest. Seeing that same little stretch of skin that had peeked out during the game earlier sent a flush of heat through Paulo’s body, remembering how distracting it had been and how hard he had had to fight the urge to sink his teeth into it then and there.

Jan sighed as Toby brushed his hand over his chest as he slowly peeled the shirt up. Toby risked a glance over at Paulo. “M-may I kiss him? Please?”

Paulo hummed, considering. He liked watching Toby kiss Jan, but there was a principle to be observed.

“No,” he said firmly. “You may not.”

Toby stuck his lower lip out a bit, but refrained. He lifted one of Jan’s arms up and eased it out of the sleeve, then the other. He had to take care, working the shirt up over Jan’s head, not to touch Jan’s collar, not even the slightest brush of a finger. The three of them had very quickly established that rule. The collars were for Paulo alone to touch. Not even Jan would be allowed to take his off, barring the use of his safeword.

Finally Toby freed the tee shirt from around Jan's ears. He had his mouth right next to Jan's left ear when the cotton slipped up over it, and Paulo could see Toby's lips twitch, desperate to brush them against the delicate pink shell, but he resisted and drew back, tossing Jan's shirt to the floor at Paulo's feet. 

Paulo had deliberately not said that Toby couldn't touch Jan at all, though, and he took full advantage of that now, running his hands down the smooth muscles of Jan's shoulders and arms, linking their hands with a brief, tender squeeze. He dropped his fingers to Jan's belt then, tucking a couple of fingertips underneath and tugging Jan against him for a moment. Paulo loved to see the way Toby's biceps tightened, then relaxed as he released Jan and moved his fingers to caress the metal of his belt buckle. He worked the clasp loose, so slowly that even Jan whimpered. It was obvious that Toby was making a production of this, but Paulo approved. Toby's thumb slid back and forth across the button of Jan's jeans, working it loose in tiny increments. The zipper took considerable time as well, but Paulo didn't care at all, enjoying watching Toby drag his knuckles over the growing bulge in Jan's jeans. 

Paulo had no idea how long had passed by the time Toby slid Jan's jeans and boxers down over his hips. Toby paused then, glancing over at Paulo. "May I?" 

He was asking for permission to touch more of Jan than had been made explicit. Paulo considered him thoughtfully, strongly tempted to deny him again; he loved seeing disappointment and frustration on Toby's sweet face. Finally he gave a slight nod.

Toby slipped his hand under the waistband and gently pulled Jan's dick free, eliciting a soft sigh. He carelessly let Jan's jeans and boxers fall to the floor, and kicked them away when Jan stepped out.

Jan was naked now, except for his collar. He stood just far enough away that Toby's arm was slightly outstretched to maintain his hold on Jan's cock. Toby looked over at Paulo with wide, pleading eyes, but Paulo shook his head.

"Your turn," Paulo said. "Be still." Toby whined but let his hand drop back to his side.

"Jan, go ahead. Slowly."

Jan obediently began to return the favour, tugging Toby's tee shirt out from where it had been tucked into his dark jeans, easing it up with teasing little nudges, showing off Toby's beautifully sculpted abs. Paulo was only human; even when in his most Dominant mode, he could never keep himself from reacting to his subs. He licked his lips, enjoying the way Jan's eyes were eagerly glued to the slow creep of fabric up Toby's chest, the way Jan's fingers trembled as he gently trailed them over Toby's pink nipples.

Jan had an even trickier time getting Toby's shirt up over his head while keeping clear of the collar, both because Toby's shirt was a tighter-fitting one than Jan's had been, and because Toby's collar was somewhat bulkier. Jan's didn't lay perfectly flat, but it was endlessly smooth, while the spikes on Toby's tended to catch on clothing. Paulo loved watching Jan carefully pulling the shirt free, easing it over one spike at a time.

Once the shirt had been discarded, Jan took a step back, looking Toby over thoughtfully. He circled around behind him and slid his hands around his waist, pressing his naked self up against Toby's clothed ass, delicately undoing his belt buckle by feel rather than sight. Jan didn't try to kiss Toby's neck or shoulders, Paulo noted, but he wasn't sure if it was because Jan assumed he wasn't allowed, or if he genuinely preferred not to ask right now. Jan did tuck his chin over Toby's shoulder, though, rubbing his beard against sensitive skin and peeking down to watch himself getting Toby's jeans open.

When the jeans were ready to come down, Jan slid under Toby's arm, sinking to his knees in front of him, tugging them down without attempting to free his dick first. Paulo sucked in a quick breath when Toby's cock bounced free and hit Jan in the face with an audible  _ smack. _

Toby couldn't suppress a giggle at that, which in turn made Paulo smile. Jan just nuzzled at Toby's cock with his nose, then continued working Toby's tight jeans down his thickly muscled legs.

At last Jan got to his feet, having succeeded in getting Toby as naked as he was. They both stood now, facing Paulo, waiting for further instructions.

Paulo could never get enough of seeing them like this. They were so exquisitely formed. Their bodies were a perfect blend of strength and vulnerability, of soft and hard, smooth and rough. Toby was all peaches and honey, his blond hair and glowing pink skin contrasting with those enormous blue eyes of his. His collar was studded with silver spikes, and the wide black leather was etched and painted with a pair of smouldering red eyes surrounded with golden scales. It made him look tough, but Paulo and Jan both knew better. No one who had seen how childishly excited Toby got over dragons could possibly have been fooled.

Jan, on the other hand, was all cinnamon and cream. His ginger hair and those irresistible freckles stood out against his pale, pale skin, making him look as delectable as a piece of  _ tres leches _ cake. His eyes were blue, too, but instead of being wide and expressive, they were hooded and full of pain. His collar, a thick, heavy metal cord, gleamed in the dim lighting. The shadows were just deep enough that Paulo couldn't quite distinguish which of the spiralling chainmail links that made it up were black, which were red, and which were golden, but it didn't matter. As always, it was clasped in the front, with a small, matte black padlock resting precisely in the dip of Jan's throat.

Paulo regarded them calmly for a while, content for the moment to just have them both here with him. When he finally spoke, he kept his voice to a velvety soft whisper.

"Jan."

"Yes, sir?"

"Hands and knees. On the bed."

Jan was well trained enough now that he didn't hesitate, or blush. He was moving almost before Paulo had finished speaking. Paulo turned his eyes on Toby now.

"Watch, but be still."

Toby lifted his eyes. "Yes, sir."

Paulo rose from his chair and moved up behind Jan. He wanted to get this part out of the way quickly, but he would need to be careful.

He struck without warning, bringing his palm down in a sharp slap across Jan's exposed ass. Jan let out a surprised whimper.

"You know why I am punishing you," Paulo said to him. It was not a question.

"Y-yes, sir."

"Tell me."

"I made mistakes, I didn't keep my arm down… I made you have to face a penalty…"

"No." Paulo spanked him again, harder this time.

"I-- no?"

"No. I forgive you for mistakes. Even the penalty, you know I enjoy proving myself." Another sharp smack, on the other side this time. Jan moaned.

"This is not why I am punishing you. Try again."

"I… I don't know, I'm sorry, sir…"

"I punish you for not coming to me afterwards. For not trusting me. For thinking you had to face your trouble alone. For letting jealousy divide you from Toby." With each sentence Paulo brought his hand down, harder and harder.

Jan was moaning and pushing his hips back now. Paulo knew all too well how much Jan enjoyed being spanked and forced himself to slow down. He didn't want Jan to come just yet.

"I expect you to bring your worries to me. Understand?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good." Paulo gave him one last stinging slap with his hand, then turned his attention back to Toby, who was watching them intently, his eyes hot. "Toby."

"Yes, sir?"

"You understand that you are to be punished as well, yes?"

"Y-yes, sir." Toby's face was slightly crestfallen, but his cock throbbed.

"I think we will try something new today. Jan needs to be reminded of how important he is to me. You are to be punished for carelessly endangering him. I think we can address both of these at once."

Toby blinked in confusion, but Paulo was already turning away. "Off the bed, Jan. Toby, hands and knees."

They obediently traded places. Paulo, meanwhile, went to his bedside table, retrieving what they would need from the drawer. He turned back to see that Jan was suddenly breathing harder. His eyes were still lowered, but he had obviously guessed Paulo's intentions.

Paulo went to him and kissed him hungrily, fingering his collar. "Do you know what I am going to order you to do,  _ mi pelirrojito?" _

"I-- I think so, sir."

"And what is that?"

Jan's cheeks were pink as he demurely replied, "Are you going to have me finger Toby?"

"Yes. And then?"

"You-- do you… I mean…" Jan floundered adorably for a moment. Paulo had to take pity on him.

"Yes,  _ schatje," _ he whispered in Jan's ear. "And then you are going to fuck him. Do you want this?"

_ "Yes…" _ Jan sighed. "Yes, sir…"

On the bed, Toby gave a small squeak. He had obviously heard enough, for all that Paulo had been whispering.

"And you, Toby? Jan is going to fuck you. Colour?"

"G-green, sir," Toby muttered, his face red.

"Good." Paulo nodded to Jan to proceed and returned to his chair to watch.

For all that they had done together, he had never let either of them do this before. Taking them this way had always been something that Paulo had reserved for himself alone. He could see how excited Jan was for this and let himself smile, watching Jan starting to work Toby open with well-lubed but slightly trembling fingers.

“You may speak, both of you,” Paulo said, watching Toby biting his lip. “I want to hear you.”

“Thank you, sir,” Toby sighed. “Jan, god, more, please,  _ meer, alstublieft, _ Jan…”

Jan only grunted, too focused on his work to answer. Paulo had frequently had one or the other of them do this, prepare each other for Paulo, but never for themselves before. Jan’s face had the same intense look on it that he wore on the pitch, all of his concentration focused on the task before him.

"Toby," Paulo said quietly.

"Yes, sir?" Toby panted.

"Talk to Jan. Tell him what you want him to do to you."

Toby moaned. "Yes, sir… Jan…"

"Yes?" Jan murmured, his voice low, and twisted his fingers.

"Ah… fuck, like that… god, I love it when you finger me… more,  _ neuk, _ Jan, please," he begged. "Faster, please, I want you inside me, I want you to fuck me…"

"Be patient," Jan answered. "You'll get what you want, don't worry."

Paulo smiled. He liked seeing them enjoy themselves; watching them together was one of his favourite things, whether he chose to participate or not. They had a certain bond, something that was uniquely theirs, and getting to see it manifest in such an intimate way was always captivating.

Soon enough Paulo raised his voice slightly. "All right, Jan, that's enough. Come here."

Jan slipped his fingers out of Toby, making him whine with disappointment, and stepped closer to Paulo. Paulo gave him a baby wipe for his hand, then gently rolled the condom down over his cock for him and began slicking him up. Paulo knew that Jan and Toby were both watching him do this, though neither of them commented. It was another small thing, a gesture on Paulo's part, but they all knew what it meant.

Finally Paulo was satisfied. "Go on."

Jan hesitated. "Sir…"

Paulo's eyebrow shot up. "Yes,  _ schatje?" _

"Could we… do this face to face? Please?"

Paulo heard Toby suck in a breath as he considered. It was rather brazen of him to ask, but then again this session  _ was _ intended to be a reward for Jan. He would need to keep an eye on Toby, though, who was apt to enjoy that a little too much, given that he was theoretically being punished.

He nodded slowly. "You may."

Jan's face bloomed with a pleased smile. He lowered his eyes again and went back to Toby, who was wiggling with impatience. He put a hand hesitantly on Toby's hip. "Toby,  _ rol om."  _ Toby raised his eyebrows, glancing over at Paulo for confirmation. When he saw Paulo nod, though, he shifted over and obligingly turned onto his back.

_ "Ben je klaar?" _

_ "Ja," _ Toby whispered. "Yes, Jan, c'mon, please."

Jan glanced over at Paulo, a question in his eyes. 

Paulo nodded. "Fuck him."

Jan, obediently as ever, moved up between Toby's spread legs, lined himself up, and began carefully pressing into Toby. He let out a soft noise of surprise, his hands on Toby's hips as he slowly sank deeper and deeper. "Toby…" he whispered.

Toby whimpered in reply. Of the two of them, he had always been the one to have more difficulty adjusting when Paulo fucked him, always needing a slower, gentler pace. Jan knew this, of course, and he eased his dick into Toby with excruciating care.

"Good," Paulo said when Jan had managed to bury himself in Toby. "Now just give him a minute."

Jan nodded, his jaw clenched tight as he forced himself to wait, his eyes fixed on Toby's face. Toby was breathing hard, his cheeks red, eyes closed. Paulo watched the furrow in his brow lessen by tiny increments as Toby's body gradually relaxed.

Finally Paulo nodded to Jan. "Okay. Start slow, though."

Jan shuddered. "Yes, sir." He pulled back, just a bit, and then slid back into Toby, who moaned pitifully. "Toby, fuck, you feel so good, I never knew…"

"Jan, oh my god,  _ Jan," _ Toby whined, reaching up for him. Jan bent his head to kiss Toby breathlessly. He was moving smoothly now, still slowly, but he was no longer pausing in between thrusts. 

Paulo leaned forward, watching them closely. Toby had lifted his legs to wrap around Jan's waist now, digging his heels into Jan's ass. They were kissing sloppily as they rocked back and forth together, but Paulo could hear Toby's breath hitch every time Jan bottomed out inside him.

Jan broke free from Toby's hungry kisses and dropped his head back. "Toby, fuck…"

"Jan…" Toby moaned, his hands clutching at Jan's arms.

"Stop," Paulo said sharply, seeing the telltale signs of Toby beginning to approach orgasm. Jan blinked at him uncertainly, his eyes clouded with lust, but he obeyed.

"Toby is enjoying this too much for it to be a punishment. Hands and knees again, Toby."

Toby whined pitifully as Jan pulled back, but he slowly got himself turned over again. Jan looked over to Paulo again, but when Paulo gave him the nod, he wasted no time plunging back inside Toby.

"Good," Paulo murmured when Toby let out a faint yelp. "Don't be afraid to be a little rough, Jan. He can handle it now."

"Yes, sir…" Jan settled his hands on Toby's hips and soon had a rhythm going, fucking Toby steadily. Paulo suddenly thought of something that Toby had said to him months and months ago.

"Tell him, Toby," Paulo said, watching intently. "Tell him how long you've wanted this."

"I… fuck, Jan… I've wanted you to fuck me for years… it was one of the first things I told Paulo I wanted, before I even knew what it was like, I wanted you…"

Jan groaned and closed his eyes, his hips picking up speed.

"Open your eyes, Jan," Paulo ordered him quietly. "Look at him. Look at how beautiful he is, your friend, your teammate, your lover, right now he is all yours."

"Yes," Toby whispered. "All yours…"

Jan obeyed, his eyes sweeping greedily over Toby. "Toby… I…"

"Harder," Toby pleaded. "Jan, harder, please, please…"

"Fuck, Toby…" Jan was rocking his hips faster now, pushing into Toby even more forcefully, until Toby let out a slightly pained whimper. Jan gasped and controlled himself with visible effort. "Toby, fuck, I'm so close, you're incredible…"

"Jan," Toby groaned. "Oh, Jan, fuck me, Jan, please…" He was shaking now, his eyes closed as he pushed back eagerly against Jan.

"Toby, oh  _ fuck, _ Toby… you're so good, so hot, and you're  _ mine… _ oh,  _ oh…" _ Jan's voice trailed away and he thrust into Toby one final time, his head falling back as he came, his hands clutching tightly at Toby's hips.

"Jan," Toby cried out, his voice desperate. "Please, god, I need more, please…" He tried to rock back against Jan again, but Jan had already pulled out, collapsing on the bed next to him, panting heavily.

Toby whined pitifully at this and he dropped his head to hang between his arms, his fists tightening in the duvet on Paulo's bed.

"Toby," Paulo rumbled. "Come here."

Toby slid off the bed obediently, but his mouth dropped open slightly when he turned to face Paulo, who was looking at him expectantly.

"Come here," Paulo repeated, holding out one hand. The other was holding his condom-covered dick steady. Paulo had anticipated that Jan would finish before Toby and he was well prepared. "Come here and sit down."

Toby smiled shyly but did as he was told. Paulo took firm hold of his hips and turned him to face away from Paulo, guiding him carefully to sit down directly on Paulo's dick.

Toby moaned gratefully as he sank down on Paulo. "Ahh, thank you, Paulo, sir, thank you…"

"Of course," Paulo purred in his ear. "I can't let a chance like that go to waste, when you are so beautiful and so desperate to be fucked… you love this, no? Having a cock inside you?"

"Y-yes…"

"You liked having Jan inside you?"

"Yes, sir… so much..." Toby whimpered, his body shaking as he rose and fell in Paulo's lap. "But…"

"But?" Paulo prompted him gently, pressing his lips to the back of Toby's collar.

"B-but… having you… ohhh… feels like… feels like coming home," Toby sighed.

Paulo let out a moan at his words and snapped his hips up harder. "Toby," he growled fiercely, enjoying the gasp this drew from him. "Toby, my  _ liefje." _

Across from them, Jan had discarded his condom and sat up on the bed, watching Toby ride Paulo with a dazed look on his face.

"Jan," Paulo rumbled. "Come here."

Jan's eyes were still somewhat glassy as he got up from the bed and moved toward them. Paulo had intended to tell him to kneel, but Jan, ever the natural submissive, sank to his knees without being told. His gaze was fixed on Toby's cock, bobbing up and down inches from where Jan's lips were slightly parted.

"What do you want,  _ schatje?" _ Paulo asked, his voice unsteady as he poured most of his focus into bouncing Toby up and down on his dick.

Jan licked his lips, but couldn't seem to find words. Paulo had seen that look on his face enough times before to be able to guess, though.

"You want to taste him, is that it?"

Jan nodded eagerly even as Toby dropped his head back onto Paulo's shoulder with a breathy moan.

"Open your mouth," Paulo rumbled, sliding one hand around Toby's waist to wrap around his dick. He tucked his chin over Toby's shoulder so that he could see what he was doing, and began stroking Toby carefully. 

It only took a few strokes before he felt Toby's body tense up. "Oh-- oh, fuck, oh,  _ Paulo," _ Toby groaned, clenching down on Paulo's cock as spurts of cum erupted from his own, landing on Jan's upturned face and in his open, waiting mouth.

Paulo released his grip on Toby's dick after his orgasm subsided, but didn't slow down his own thrusts. He knew he wasn't far behind Toby, and watching Jan lick his lips and swallow as much of Toby's cum as he could was threatening to make Paulo explode. He lifted his hand to caress Toby's collar, sliding his fingers eagerly over the smooth metal of the spikes, while he wrapped his other arm tightly around Toby's waist.

"Fuck," he growled, sinking his teeth into Toby's shoulder as he came, pulling Toby down against him as hard as he could, reveling in his faint whimpers.

He came down slowly, his heart pounding in his ears as he gradually relaxed his grip on Toby. Finally he unwound his arm from Toby's waist and released him, but to his surprise Toby didn't get up right away. Paulo opened his eyes and pressed a gentle kiss to the bite mark he had left on Toby's shoulder.

_ "Liefje," _ he whispered.  _ "Ben je oke?" _

Toby nodded slowly without lifting his head from Paulo's shoulder. Paulo tried to turn his head to look at Toby's face but couldn't quite manage from this position. Instead he looked down at Jan, who was smiling lazily and trying to scoop the last of Toby's cum on his face into his mouth with his fingers.

"Jan," Paulo said in a low voice, and Jan looked up at him in mild surprise.

"Yes, sir?"

"Help me with Toby."

Jan blinked and looked at Toby, and his eyes widened. He got to his feet somewhat unsteadily, reaching for Toby. Paulo boosted Toby up into Jan's arms, pulling out of him carefully as he did.

"Lay him on the bed."

When Toby was stretched out on his back, Paulo regarded him with some surprise. His face had a vague, almost lost expression on it that he had never seen there before.

"Is he…?" Jan murmured, next to him.

"I think he actually dropped into subspace, yes," Paulo answered. "I didn't think it was in him."

"Neither did I."

Paulo knelt next to his bed and laid his head down next to Toby's ear. Jan lay down next to Toby on the other side and nestled close to him, kissing his arm gently.

Paulo whispered to Toby softly for a while, full of praise. He knew that he had once again lost track of his intention to punish Toby. He was simply too adorable to stay angry with for long. It was a problem, Paulo knew, but right now he couldn't bring himself to care, not when he and Jan had pushed Toby into subspace for the first time.

Paulo carefully unfastened Toby's collar, kissing the slightly sweaty skin underneath it, and set it aside to clean later. Then he looked over at Jan, who had his face pressed to the side of Toby's head.

"Jan."

_ "¿Sí, señor?" _

Paulo suppressed the surge of warmth that always rose in him when Jan spoke Spanish. "I'm going to go get some things to take care of Toby. Do you need anything?"

Jan shook his head. "No, I didn't drop this time." That wasn't entirely unusual, even for Jan, and right now Paulo was grateful-- caring for two subs would have been challenging right now.

"All right then. I'll be back in a moment, and then there's something we need to discuss."

Jan raised an eyebrow. "What's that, sir?"

"Winks."

Jan blinked and frowned. "Paulo, I--"

"Jan," Paulo said sternly. "You know as well as I do that the fight today was his fault. He needs to be punished, yes?"

"Well--"

"He is yours, not mine, and so it is for you to handle, not me." He gave Jan a hard look, not yielding until Jan dropped his eyes and nodded.

"I'll take care of it, sir."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Belgas obstinados - stubborn Belgians  
> Ik hou van jou - I love you  
> Ik hou ook van jou - I love you too  
> Mis queridos preciosos - my precious darlings  
> Mi pelirrojito - my little redhead  
> Schatje - baby  
> Meer - more  
> Alstublieft - please  
> Neuk - fuck  
> Rol om - roll over  
> Ben je klaar? - are you ready?  
> Liefje - sweetheart  
> Ben je oke? - are you okay?


	4. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I thought I was done with this flash forward, but I forgot about a particularly cute little loose end that I wanted to tie up.

"Gio," Paulo called down the hallway when he finally saw him emerge from the dressing room. "Wait a second."

The young Argentinian obligingly hung back, a hesitant smile on his sweet face.

"What's up?" Gio asked quietly in Spanish once Paulo caught up with him as they headed out to the training pitch with the others.

"I just wanted to say thank you, for what you did the other day." Paulo smiled at the puzzled expression on his friend's face. "During the game, when the fight started."

Gio's brow creased with confusion. "I didn't do anything special then, I think?"

"You went straight to Jan after he was knocked down, instead of getting caught up in fighting like the rest," Paulo explained, ruffling Gio's hair with a smile.

"Oh," Gio said, smiling back up at him. "I just… he might have been hurt, and I know he's important to you."

"You-- what?" Paulo said, nonplussed.

Gio shrugged. "I'm not implying anything, just… Juanito said something, so I started to pay attention. I can tell you care about him, and you're my friend, so I… I don't know. We all look out for each other, yes?"

Paulo gave him a warm smile, wrapping a long arm around his young friend's shoulders. "That's right, brother. We do."

Up ahead of them, he watched Jan and Toby roughhousing a bit as they ambled out onto the pitch. Hearing their shouts of laughter filled him with warmth despite the cold in the air.

  
_ "Sí, _ we all look out for each other," he repeated softly, feeling his heart swell in his chest. He glanced down at Gio, still tucked against his side, and he ruffled his hair affectionately. "All of us." 


End file.
